Women are either goddesses or drudges, so Picasso is attributed to have said.
Some may think that Picasso meant that the difference between a goddess and a drudge is purely something to be experienced through our senses–beauty, grace, poise, pleasing demeanor, decorum and mystery. That interpretation is one to which I can cite more than one contradiction. Women, as most women are prone to do, grow old. She may start off a teen sensation and awaken to the fact that she is desirable. However, after 40, her looks are exaggerated into hardened caricatures of what they once were when young, supple, and dewy. Life, as it happens, considers older women without much functional use as throwaways. Not leftovers. Throwaways. Or “fubar”, as one gent so kindly put it to me.
My girl cousin likes to travel the world. She’s been to The Galapagos, to the Arctic, to some ruins in the southern hemisphere (not the Mayan, but the other one), etc. She wants to see the world. She doesn’t like it when she’s told what to do. She values her capabilities. She is living the “dream”. She is 33, has a boyfriend, and still lives life fully–all while juggling a career with a vigour and zest for new experiences as if she were an 18 year-old.
On the other side of the family, another girl cousin got sucked into marriage by busybody, clamouring, religious aunts. This is where I pause, feel both sad and mighty proud that I am not married. She was smart enough to get her life into order though. For a while, she was what I might call, a “mule”, saddled with the burden of 3 young children and a deaf husband who didn’t communicate with her unless he wanted to have sex. The third child, she told me at our relative’s wedding, was an accident. I, then, remarked a little randomly of how I hated weddings. She asked why. I said that marriage wouldn’t allow me to do what I wanted. She took that to heart, divorced her husband, and blamed me. She was in some mid-life crisis after her pregnancy. When she realized just how her life was going nowhere that she wanted to go, she snatched her kids, and cut her husband off–but not his child support or visitation rights (which means child support). She surely couldn’t afford her Fitbit on a receptionist’s salary if her ex didn’t affectionately and dutifully deposit money into their accounts. Of course, she didn’t say it in so many words, but it was implied. She merely said that Andy liked to deposit money onto their coffee cards so they could have their hit.
To be honest, I find the whole paradigm of “goddess or mule…oh sorry, I meant drudge” to be a little confining. I’ll be happy when the zeitgeist of today’s sex-frenzied culture becomes obsolete. Is there hope for change if human nature never changes? The way guys talk about girls behind their backs is very…um…”guy-ish”. Not that it’s wrong. Straight guys just see girls differently than what, well, whatever…
But that is exactly what I mean, goddesses or drudges. Where as the woman would marry/shack up/date/fall in love-ish/go into an LTR with a guy for his inner qualities (trust me on this one, looks are NOTHING compared to competency as a worker and big-heartedness as a mate)–a guy would look at facial features, assets, youth, if she would look good naked from the back with red heels on, biting a strawberry Twizzler–I mean, sorry to offend. Men have it easy as long as they make it. Be a good worker, work on your inner qualities, be able to handle both well enough, and, with any luck, you’ll find your “soulmate”! In other words, the guy would find: a chef, wine connoisseur, proud mama, hostess-with-the-mostess, work-from-home mom, soccer mom, hockey fanatic, Super Bowl partner who makes nachos with everything and brings the beer, and to top it all off, who looks like a Victoria Secrets supermodel even after 3 kids. I suppose it’s possible. What’s not possible? It’s just that what woman in her right heart and mind would want to do all that for the sake of doing all that? I mean if her spouse doesn’t love her for her minus all the delightful “soulmate” qualities, what woman wouldn’t get tired of it? Oh she loves you? She does? You sure?
You see, somewhere around the beginning of civilization, we started off on the wrong foot. Who am I to say? Well, okay, I wouldn’t really know; I wasn’t there. BUT, the joke goes that when Adam asked God why He made Eve so beautiful, God supposedly replied, “So you’d love her.” Then he asked why He made her so dumb, and God supposedly replied, “So she’d love you.” Kinda takes the cake, eh?
The only thing is that very little has changed since Adam, except that God possibly created feminism as “a new thing on earth, that a woman shall surround a man,” and that very little will change, I suspect, as human nature, or man’s nature, doesn’t change. Effeminate effects have existed for a very long time. But, then, so has sexism. Nations bent on warlike acts were warned against effeminate men losing their will to do battle, that when women rule over a society, it is shameful. When a society gets rich, without the coming-of-age rites to designate some for battle and others for supportive roles – for war – that society would then grow weak. It is, to me, ideal, not to go to war. Perhaps, if we all trained out young fighters to say, cook and value the fine art of cleanliness and decorum, we’d not have wars! But then again, as Israel once proved to be upon their sojourn to the Promised Land, there will always be acquisitive nations of people who want your stuff, and would steal it from you while killing you for it. Nice going, guys. Hence, there is no end to wars, or bullying, or hazing. That isn’t an excuse. That is just the reality somewhere, sometime, right now, in the world.
Sort of makes you wish for the simpler things, like sex with goddesses and marrying a drudge who will take care of your every need and whim. ~V
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