I am a great-granddaughter of a concubine.
Men throughout the ages of so-called “recorded history” have had concubines. Abraham had four. Solomon had four hundred. David was too sloppy to count his. Hannah, the Prophet Samuel’s mother, was a “second” wife. Sadly, men just can’t resist beautiful women.
When you observe women’s reactions to other women throughout this recorded history, they weren’t very generous. Women historically goaded and vexed each other within the same family. Leah called Jacob “my husband” whom Rachel “took” from her. Hannah’s competitor vexed her until she prostrated herself before the temple altar, weeping and vowing to devote her firstborn to Jehovah’s service, if only He opened her womb. Every woman claimed her husband jealously. Every husband who could afford to, it seemed, claimed his women jealously too, only in multiples.
Men, in other words, are polyamorous. They want to fuck as many beautiful women as they can. The problem is, there is still no satisfaction. Those that like fast women also go for fast everything else you can think of.
Women, on the other hand, cannot love two men without hating one of them and loving the other. Such is the psychology of men and women.
The whole modern interpretation on one woman one man marriage is based on women’s successful demands for “fidelity”. The point is that men can be faithful to their many women but are only required to provide for them. One-man/one-woman is a woman’s romantic fantasy. There is simply no such thing biologically amongst much of humanity. Or spiritually either. It’s great fun to ask church leaders’ wives what they think of that. They hotly defend the fantasy, inadequately, with verses that even they admit are only suggestive of monogamy, but then they claim every more adamantly that this must be so. It simply is. Bullshit. It’s a modern, social and cultural construct. Otherwise you can’t explain the phenomenon of why men cheat and why women are automatically and insistently slut-shamed. It’s indigenous to many, not all, but many cultures still.
This is the hardest essay I’ve had to write thus far. I am quite outspoken against male tendencies at times, but what I can’t stand are unreality, inconsistencies and falsehoods. I am a great-granddaughter of a concubine. Even though that wasn’t said to validate my right to be alive (I need no such validation), it does demonstrate that I am not unfamiliar with family dynamics where a concubine’s children and grandchildren are concerned. If this was done in the western world, my grandfather would have been a bastard and possibly my family wouldn’t have existed. As it stands now, each of us has a good family to come home to. Why is it hard then? I am a Romantic and would like to think somehow courtly love exists. Well, welcome to the real world, Veek: it doesn’t. The truth is that men love you for your beauty and submission, and once you’re pregnant and fat, their eyes start to wander and they get sick of you. The only difference between now and the old days is that the man today isn’t expected to marry his girlfriends whom he has coitus with or even knocks up. There is no real provision for the girl he deflowers. Women have no protection under the law to be sustained and taken into the family compound, lovingly. (Hence, maybe why women insist on fidelity.) It is, today, just people pretending to be moral, loyal, and married. The truth is that it isn’t the reality nor was there any insistence on monogamy in recorded history except for deacons of the Christian church.
Women are still living in a potpourri of fantasy. Men are living in uxoriousness because they can only legally marry one woman at a time, so if they are to stay true to social mores, they tend to lavish all their love and riches on their ONE wife.
Fact is, God never commented or stopped men from having multiple wives, concubines, prostitutes, etc. The only thing He required is that they compensate the women. So Samson had Delilah; David had his many wives, and had Solomon with Bathsheba; Solomon, the wisest man ever, apparently never named his 600 wives and 400 concubines for the record-keepers – except for the wife through whom the line of David would be carried to the Messiah Jesus Christ; Judah went into Tamar, whom he thought was a prostitute. When Judah compensated his daughter-in-law by saying “she is more righteous than I”, and let her go peacefully, God considered Judah righteous, and gave him a place in the Promised Land. When Jacob gave his final blessings to his sons, Judah was “a lion”. So much for equality of the sexes, but, then, I’m not stupid enough to take on God. Not anymore, anyway.
For once, I have no real opinion either way. People are what they are. Men want polyamory, women want romance. As far as I’m concerned, it’s the Creator who must decide for his creatures. And as you can see from surveying the bible yourself that He remains silent. And so must I hereafter on this topic. ~V
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