Oh! To Coffee

Mornings aren’t mornings without coffee. That black stuff you imbibe for the sake of balancing your neurochemicals. “It just feels right” should be the motto of every coffee drinker. Now the APA has made caffeine withdrawal a psychiatric disorder. What will all the coffee-imbibing psychiatrists do? Oh woe to be a psychiatrist in these times! But it shall pass, as all things do. That is their motto after all: This too shall pass.

Coffee is the one of the most traded commodities. Another one is gasoline. Both are black gold. Do we see a theme here? Thick, sludgy, olfactory-fatiguing, environmentally unfriendly. We humans are masochistic creatures.

Tea is so much better for you. But ah! Tea doesn’t have that kick. You need that kick, or else the day isn’t started right. Then you need that kick in the afternoon. Mornings, afternoons, what’s the difference after a while? Coffee makes it all the same.

Fable has it that coffee was discovered by a goatherd a long time ago somewhere in the Middle East. Since then it has been the object of slave plantations owners and rain forest harvesters. Funny how a simple goat dance can turn into something so nasty.

And it is nasty. People have killed for coffee. Fertile land depleted. But what would I do without coffee? I’d be a wreck. For a few days at least. Then I’d be this insipid and calm individual who can reason clearly and feel deeply without hypertension.

Nah, I wouldn’t want to give up coffee. Forget the DSM. Who cares what some of the most respected and learned people of our nation think? Who’s Berkeley or Harvard? What I want is a cuppa joe to get me lazily through the day and de-stress my fatigued nerves after a long day at the office. Just think of it this way: with moderation and self-restraint, coffee is a stimulant that doesn’t ravage the body the way street drugs do. Therefore, if something isn’t as bad as street drugs, it must be alright…

Logic has never been a strong point of mine, I admit. Oh well, need another cuppa joe to get me through this one. ~V

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