Day 3: of Eeking Out Meaning From Christmas, Unsuccessfully 

I must be getting old. I’m forty-seven, losing my hair which is 1/10th grey, fat mid-waist, and able to look at sexy pics of the competition…and chuckle. There is jealousy if I allow it, but like I said, I must be getting old. Why? Because I’m no longer slut-shaming. Yes, I was and partly still am the horrible kind of woman you’d NEVER want to meet. But that’s ok. After all, I’m only conversational if we both sat down with laptops, messaging each other.

I’ve come to accept some or many men like to be with multiple partners (very biblical if you dare tout King David as godly until his death), and that women like to flaunt it if they have it. Why fight it? I even admit kids are cute and worthy of cherishing. That’s something I never would have admitted before. Gosh, it’s great to be old because, Now, I’ve seen everything.

I’ve come to an acceptance of myself. You know, that intrinsic temperament we each are endowed with at some point of our entrance into this world. Oh, there are some uptight types who have a bug up the um pocket that they want to go back to old-school preaching, shaming, condemning, causing drama-trauma and a warm huggles reconciliation all within the same hour. They do this oddly in the name of their God. Stuff it. I don’t think I want to willingly partake that sort of bad cop/good cop drama, anymore. Drama is weird. The people who live by it are weirder.

So yeah, Christmas. I’ve only made one pic today as I didn’t go out, and here is the proof why:
Image source:

The world outside my window is unfriendly, for now. Well the whole day. Two days. Ongoing for this whole two weeks ahead, so TWN informs me on my phone. Oh well, just means more writing time.

Lately I’ve taking breaks to sit in silence. I’ve found my heart again. That central part of oneself to where we retreat by default. I haven’t seen this old friend for a long time. Must have been a good three decades. It is my natural state of being. And no I’m not divulging because it’s only of use and of interest to me. So, find a new hobby, eh?

I had planned to take more interesting photos and must apologize to my readers for boring them. It’s just been bad weather.

I’ll head up to The Lego Store tomorrow. Lego is like jello: both are crowd pleasers. But I hope to find photogenic gems along the way. So here’s to tomorrow.

What’s happened to my whiny, grumbling commentaries? Well, blame my age. I don’t want high blood pressure. I don’t want to fight issues. And I am as good as retired. I still don’t know what Christmas holds for me. I don’t know if I care, since religion has only functioned in such a way as to divide, and not unite, humanity. I might never stop believing there is a God – but one step at a time. Right now I just want some peace and rest. And, no, I don’t want to think or fight. ~V

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