Most tourists in these urban parts don’t see angry Canadians. We’re generally affable and pleasant, even if you scratch the surface deep. However, don’t get a Canadian angry.
We don’t get angry. We get even. Yeah yeah. You can talk all you like about our sweet, maple syrupopsicles and nice, bedecked Mounties on well-groomed horses. But we know what mettle of which we’re made.
It’s the kind of mettle that got us through Holland and France during WWII. And while our southern cousins like to talk tough, we simply are–even though they might likely use a bigger, faster M-whatever to bolster their bluster.
Most of us aren’t confrontational nor do we subscribe to the notion that we will only be as nice as we need to be. We are nice. We look for ways to help the underdog, fight for universal rights to be free from abuse in any form. We give you the benefit of the doubt, until you prove otherwise–then we don’t give a hoot if you’re yelling that the wolves are coming after you–that’s the way the Universe gives payback. We also do not pay our kindnesses to meddlesome, selfish neighbours, or neighbours who may have dishonest motives; and, if we did, they’d better get ready to shit their pants–sometimes even literally.
Even the police are nice here, for the most part. A knock on your door means they want to make sure everyone is safe. They have an often thankless and demoralizing job as they encounter quiet, inner resistance, and some residual apprehension, to their goodwill. We’re not afraid of what the police will do. We’re afraid of what the next door neighbours will think. But aside from the occasional, bellicose call-handler at the non-emergency police line, where you’re supposed to get “help”, our force is among the finest and most progressive in the land. I say this with pride and with first-hand knowledge.
Oh yeah, right, back to the topic. Don’t get us angry, eh? Figuratively speaking, and not at all literally, Canadians have a long fuse but a big bomb. I’ve been using a lot of euphemisms. We do wait, and have a long memory. And we’re not gullible. You may think you’ve cornered us, but we always find a way out. Short of tasering us to death, you won’t win. Even then, you won’t. Why not? Because for every one Canadian who is unjustly treated, there will be ten to a hundred or more who will rise up to champion that person’s rights and lifeblood. You won’t win. Some even have stood barehanded in the way of a sudden cougar attack to protect a stranger or a child, to the death. You won’t win.
So really, you’re not very smart to make Canadians angry. If we don’t express it right away, we’ll wait. And wait. And….well, then you’ll see. No, I don’t think you’ll want to see. Good luck. ~V.
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