Spanking does not necessarily lead to better behaved, Jesus-saved, disciplined children. It can, however, make them mere objects of necessary and minimal, legalistic care–hence, making YOU, the parent, their mere custodian.
Think about it. What gives you the right to hit your kids and not your boss? Chain-of-command? See, Monty Python is right: violence is inherent in the system. How we see things today can change the way the welfare of the next generation turns out. (Well-being = welfare, instead of Govt support = welfare, for all you quasi-literate, fly-off-the-handle tweeters out there.)
A well-known, talk-show host/celebrity remarked that the reason why your kids have problems, in particular, mental health problems, is because you refuse to hit them harder, and hard enough to break the will and spirit of your child. I’d be surprised if, after that, your kid would even want to live. For proof from the Holy Writ: “Fathers do not embitter your children, or they will become discouraged.” (Colossians 3:21, The New International Version)
What child deliberately wants to entice violence against herself? And if spanking can drive out mental illness, don’t you think the good researchers paid millions to look at early child behaviour would have figured that out, being both better qualified and intrinsically more compassionate to want to prevent the ravages of mental illness later in life? Later–when it is generally less treatable, and more costly to society both to treat and to manage? Not to mention it would then be more bothersome to society, period? Who in serious science would be that stupid unless motivated by fear or by money?
Children deserve unconditional love. A blank cheque to your heart, figuratively speaking. They need to feel loved and secure, no matter what. That doesn’t mean always withholding the realities of life from them, but to reveal the ravages of life with as much kindness and patience on your part as is possible. (Methodologically speaking, Emily Dickinson’s poem Tell the truth but tell it slant comes to mind.) The words kindness and patience are to me absolute values. You either are or you aren’t. And you can’t be kind if you are partially cruel. After all, one single, rebel and unconfessed sin cancels out all other, good deeds in God’s eyes. It’s all or nothing.
When you spank a child, you are doing violence to him. That is not kind. All of Solomon’s wisdom, within the context of his culture, could not have foreseen the level of savagery and violence we commit against our children, today, some in the name of God. If he had, and still had said what he said, that if you spare the rod, you spoil the child or whatever, he was not wise at all–unless he was using the reverse psychology ruse again, which in this case the biblical writers offer no sensible or logical conclusion to his single and unique, pithy saying on the matter of beating–or so we interpret literally to mean such.
If you’re not prepared to deal with the rambunctiousness of childhood and you’re not willing to cherish your offspring, DON’T BREED! It’s very simple. But too many of us adults breed for selfish reasons. And children are not cognizant of your motives. But they know what love is from the first few minutes of being born. They know whether they are wanted.
So if you are so noble as to value the lives of the unborn, be just as prepared to love the lives of those you let live. Otherwise, you might as well be on the same level as abortionists, only in reverse order. ~V.
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