I Can’t Say The C-Word

God is a bit of a contrarian. First, he creates the universe. Fine. But then he creates Man. Problem. Then to solve problem, he creates another problem—Eve. And then another problem is that he puts them in a garden with two trees and a snake, all three of which probably shouldn’t have been there. And, then, of course, God gives the snake opportunity with the “weaker sex”.

The biggest problem of all, though, is free will. God creates His own problems. He becomes aggrieved and regrets He ever made mankind, whose every thought was evil, during Noah’s time. Hence, the flood to wipe out everybody and every poor creature except Noah and his family plus two prime members of every animal species, off the face of this Earth.

I can’t say the C-word, as a polite, Canadian female, or I would. But, even though even this is still socially unacceptable: I can still drop truth-bombs. The problem with free will is the tendency towards curiosity and the willingness to be seduced, like King David and his son, King Solomon.

It’s as if God was deliberately testing us, making it hard for us, killing the joy out of existence. Christianity, or “total commitment” is too difficult for us, quips my last pastor (as he persisted perversely to tend to his hopeless and damned, demoralized flock,) Salvation and Heaven, too high. And so, as I tried to leave that church, the pastor’s wife slipped me a redacted email printout about a “sister” had left the church, and died within two weeks of unspecified causes.

Anyone here heard of spontaneous combustion? Well it’s like that mystery: you just never know when it’s your turn, and you’re living in sheer terror. Yet, adhering to Christianity isn’t a sure-fire thing. “Many are called, but few are chosen,” said Jesus. Makes you think. No, it makes you go “WTF???” I guess the acronym, WWJD, is exactly what my pastor had done. Like just how good do you have to be? And if there is no guaranteed fire insurance, why does anyone bother?

Such questions are considered heretical, I’m sure, by many. I lost my faith at 15 thanks to some Basic Youth shit seminar. I never recovered from it, thank you very much. And nobody apologized. Yes, the little shitty Christs who bullied, ignored and scapegoated me in Church owe me something. Short of that, I am happy to settle down with a Taurean and enjoy the good life. ~V

©2018 Veekwriter All Rights Reserved

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