Recently, in my half-curious, half-desperate mindset, I’ve been exploring—and forgive me for my ignorance for I am merely a dabbler and/or novice—the neuropharmacology of Complex-PTSD and it’s relationship with schizophrenia, depression, anxiety, and phobias. I went in as a patient, and came out a student. But not all that glitters is gold.
On the surface, it seems that learning about the real workings behind your brain disorders is, well, gold, right? No. The more you know might be the more you don’t know. However, knowledge is not power in today’s world. It is entertainment. Here’s why.
These vids are educational videos not meant to take the place of medical advice, or so they declare. Fine. Then you get bombarded with medical information. You find out how the lack of melatonin does this and the inability to break it down to serotonin does that. Besides not knowing if I can trust a vid creator that bills itself disowning medical advice to be trustworthy with medical information, there’s something counterintuitive in trusting something that just told you not to fully trust them. Yes, I get it, litigation and all that. Ev’ryboddies diffewent. Ok. So what are they then? Demetertainment? That’s what it amounts to after they’ve hit “upload”.
And then there is the very fact that knowledge of the chemical interactions inside of our brains doesn’t do anything but make you sadder because now you know about it—but you can’t do anything about it. . Knowledge isn’t power to the average viewer as it illuminates why you’re sick, and knowing all that information doesn’t necessarily change your course or outcome of illness. It’s not even medically certified advice!
It’s like moving from town to city, trying to outrun your past. Well, friend, sorry to tell you this, but you just moved all your emotional baggage with you and maybe added more. A fresh start just amounts to a whole new crowd who dislike for the same reasons the old crowd had.
There are times when you need to stay put, cut the toxicity out of your thinking, and do the hard thing. Sit with yourself. Learn to feel comfortable with your own company. Knowing yourself for yourself is better than depending on or codependency with someone who is only human. If you can’t fully look into the mirror because of trauma, try your shadow. It is softer, more flattering, and easier to assimilate.
I’m sorry to say that my experience with mental health videos have been ultimately negative, as much as I liked the personalities of the creators behind them. Power is the ability to change. Knowledge that doesn’t lead to change is weak and not power at all. It is medicinal active ingredients that have been neutralized. It is ineffectual and ultimately debilitating because it eats up your nervous energy, your time, your self-image, and gives you the false sense of a solution when, sadly, it is just another online vehicle to sell you something. Don’t buy it. You deserve better than that.
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