Few mainstream self-help books including sermons and psychiatric help books deal with schizophrenia. So-called mental health gurus and websites never mention schizophrenia except as a deprecating tagline. The online communities you enter will inevitably reject and expel you. Basically you have no worth. And self-compassion is as much a lie as marrying yourself is absurd.

I am tired. I feel like even the TwitterX disabled community doesn’t want to identify with me. The less stigmatized disabled TwitterXers just ignore me or give me the courtesy nod and then don’t want to know me. I’m not angry at the moment of writing this, just saddened. I hope your kids turn out better off. I won’t be helping you.

You know that idiom you make your bed and now you must lie in it. Well karma’s a b*tch. When you will need people like me to lead the next generation of mental health advocates to succeed and get support, you’ll find instead a lot of eager, gullible mi peeps—all of whom you’ll secretly despise. But you won’t find me.

I’ve done my time. I’ve helped and have not been thanked or have help come to me. I’m too sick for psychologists and too well psychiatric services in Canada. I’m NOT suicidal. I just give up on socializing. Most of you just might be good people. I just don’t belong.

Ever since recorded time till now, from page boys to kings, from sheriffs to politicians, from hospital doctors and other patients, healthy people would rather shoot bullets, inject fatal doses, marginalize and ignore you while being curious what you have so they can have the chance reject you from the start. Otherwise they get upset that you “deceived” them by not telling them, “Hi. I’m Veek, and I have mental illness,” Yeah. Get used to it. If they weren’t kind to me, there’s little hope for you either. Schizophrenia is a leaden, black box that nobody wants in their cupboard. Nobody understands it, nor do they want to “unpack that.”

After watching both politicians and plebeians on their attitudes toward the mentally ill, one thing is clear: normal healthy people don’t want us to waste their time, resources, and, most of all, their enjoyment in life. They just want us to disappear in any way possible, be it through institutionalization or eugenics, which is otherwise known as MAiD: Murder by doctor. Pretty soon, Trudeau might edict a decree for changes in the Hippocratic Oath, in the best interests of Canadians, of course. Just for Canada. Because Canada is oh so special a place and by far the safest country in which to live. Fullstop. Kidding, of course.

This world is one big rejection pool with alpha males at the top. TwitterX is just a microcosm of the literati rejects fuelled by testosterone, adrenaline and large doses of caffeine. There is still a hierarchy. And free speech isn’t free or unthrottled.

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